September 29, 2022

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Duration of a love relationship among Romanians, on average. What are the results of the latest studies?

  • How long does a love relationship last for Romanians, on average
  • What are the results of the latest studies

Duration of a love relationship among Romanians, on average. The results of the latest studies

Our country has reached the European top of the divorce rate. A study carried out by the School for the Couple shows that, from 1990 to 2020, the divorce rate among Romanians increased by 75%. The same study also shows that a Romanian love relationship lasts, on average, 9 years.

The study, which was carried out between October and December of 2020, on a sample of 1,000 participants, shows that a Romanian love relationship lasts, on average, 9 years and most often ends in divorce.

According to Libertatea, despite the difficulties they feel they are going through, 86% of Romanian citizens avoid going to couples therapy, and when they choose to do so, it generally happens after two or three years of conflict.

What psychologists say about the “Santa Claus” syndrome that lovers suffer from

Psychologist Constantin Cornea explained, for Antena 3, that “The Santa Claus syndrome is about any person in love. Because every time we fall in love, the happiness hormones kick in at levels similar to those who take drugs. Desire and hormones prevent the lover’s mind from seeing the truth. Metaphorically speaking, a person in love looks at a Christmas tree and sees a decorated Christmas tree, while carols are heard in the silence”.

The psychologist also states that the syndrome “it refers to that magical period at the beginning of a relationship, when we are totally in love and when we have the feeling that the person we fell in love with is absolutely perfect, wonderful, amazing, like we have never met before. This would be the first reason why sometimes love can turn into hate in the blink of an eye.

The fact that when we fall in love, we put all our hopes and dreams in the other. Idealizing the person we fell in love with, we come to see him as a kind of Santa Claus capable of fulfilling the most beautiful dreams and curing the darkest nightmares. I named it a syndrome precisely because of these thoughts that we make, which are not even remotely correct evolutionarily towards the person we fall in love with. We see the person we fell in love with as a magical person, as a person who appeared in our life, and from the moment he appeared in our life, everything that happens to us is magical”.

When the Santa syndrome starts to disappear

“But, as is normal, with the passing of time, the magic between the two lovers diminishes. We start to have disputes and an intellectual question arises: “Who did I fall in love with?”, because in the first month, in the second month, in the third month it seemed to me that we got along great, amazing. Why don’t we get along now? If we were to look at a person in love in the first part of the relationship, it talks about some qualities, just physical qualities and qualities that can’t necessarily be commensurate.

If we look at the moment when this syndrome begins to disappear, we see that the person begins to evaluate the object of his desire as such through the prism of his own values. This is when many relationships end. Any person in love, woman or man, regardless of age, regardless of culture, education, past traumas, will suffer from this syndrome at the beginning of the relationship”said Constantin Cornea.

How are most couples after the disappearance of this syndrome

“The duration of the syndrome can vary depending on certain factors. If friends intervene, the family of origin intervenes, one’s own traumas intervene, if one simply learns to put certain problems related to a presumptive future together with the person one fell in love with, then this syndrome will begin to slowly, easily dissipate.

However, it does not mean that there are not people who successfully overcome the Santa Claus syndrome. In couples therapy I tell everyone that a couple relationship involves two people as two multitudes, coming and interposing with each other, the two multitudes have the common part.

There is also a middle period where we say that a couple relationship also involves a whole series of compromises and what are the compromises we are willing to make, and there is also the individual’s own freedom, the third part, the the third component. So in a relationship I have to negotiate the three elements“, the psychologist also specified for Antena 3.

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